


To Eve

by Lia_Is_Lying



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: But dont worry she dies after a long life, Crowley and Eve are besties, Crowley is a good friend, Eve is a wingman, Eve really do be lit like that, F/M, Implied Aziraphale/Crowley, It feels weird to write fanfiction of the same characters I was taught about in sunday school, M/M, Mentions of Aziraphale and his affinity for pears, Sorry God I have no regrets, The only character death is Eve, and well...the whole Abel business, crowley loves kids, honestly just wrote this to defy my christian upbringing, oops sorry spoilers for the bible, to which I say fuck you, which said Eve sucked
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:55:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25905442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lia_Is_Lying/pseuds/Lia_Is_Lying
Summary: A brief history of Eve, and her friendship with Crowley. Also, pears.
Relationships: Adam/Eve, Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Mentioned Adam/Lilith
Comments: 7
Kudos: 25





	To Eve

**Author's Note:**

> (casually slides in and posts this fic as if I didn't take a two year hiatus)

Despite the whole “ Evil Apple” business, Crawley had actually been quite good friends with Eve. 

Adam was nice enough, but Crawley personally thought the girl was a bit more sensible, a bit more intuitive behind the eyes. He also may have preferred her because while Adam tried to smack him with a large stick upon first sight, Eve had stopped him and given Crawley a cautious pat on the head. After revealing his human form, the pair had taken to talking and laying in the garden together, chatting amiably about this whole “Evil Apple” business. 

“Really, I don’t get the whole point of having one specific tree you can’t eat from. Seems a bit bogus to me, giving you free will and then saying ‘ _never mind, don’t use that._ ’”

Eve hummed thoughtfully, taking a bite from a pear. 

“I think it's to show self restraint. Or mauve to show Her we respect Her, or something.: 

Crawley huffed. ( As a side note, he wasn't pondering this aloud with the genuine intent of tempting Eve. Firstly, she was actually quite independent minded- not very easy to tempt. And secondly, Crawley did not yet know the harsh repercussions of eating the fruit. He figured it was just foul tasting, or maybe caused a stomach ache)

“I dunno about that. But I guess She has always been one to give tests without letting anyone know what's going on.” The demon stared at the pear she was eating, curious. “What is that, anyways?” 

“A pear. They’re not bad, that Principality likes them too” 

Crawley felt, for the first time, the warm sensation of a blush spreading across his face. 

“Er, yeah. I know. I saw him eating one yesterday.” 

Eve stared at him for a moment, silent and appraising. Then a grin spread across her features. 

“You were watching him?” 

Crawley spluttered. 

“Well, I, I’m supposed to, aren't I? He's the opposition, I mean, it would be dumb to ignore him-” 

“You were watching him! And you’re blushing!” Eve propped herself up on her elbows. “You like him!” 

“I-What? No! I would, I would never, and he's terrible face wise, not even- I bet you like him, actually, and you're just accusing me to throw me off track!” 

Eve shoved his shoulder playfully. 

“Oh, sure. Doesn't he usually hand around that little grove? Why don’t you introduce yourself?” 

Crawley grumbled and sighed, covering his face with his hands. 

“I'm a demon. Most angels would just strike me down at first glance…” (What Crawley did not mention here was that Aziraphale _had_ seen him yesterday, and although the demon was sure he picked up on his demonic energy, all the angel had done was stare for a moment and give a cautious “Hello there!” before returning to eating his pear. Crawley couldn't remember his time in heaven all too well, but he knew no angel had ever treated him with such kindness). 

“Besides,” he continued, “I wouldn't even know how to start a conversation with him.” 

Eve shrugged, laying back down. 

“I dunno. You’re both non human, and you're both staying in Eden. That has to count for something in common.” 

Crawley snorted. 

“Ah, yes. _Hello, my name is Crawley, I’m your mortal enemy, a demon! Anyways, how's your stay in Eden been going?”_

Eve gave a good natured smile. 

“Just think about it. I'm sure he wouldn't mind some company, up on that wall.” 

Crawley sighed, crossing his arms. 

“Maybe.” 

  
  
  
  


Eve, despite the bad rap she would later receive, knew it was likely a stupid idea to take that forbidden fruit. Ut shed been doing some thinking of her own, and had made her choice with what few resources she had. 

She knew Crawley was a demon. And she supposed his advice and general friendliness could just be a ruse to earn her trust. But she doubted this, for several reasons. The first being that she genuinely thought Crawley was too stupid to consider such a convoluted plot (he could be terribly stupid for someone so clever). Also, she didn't think any demon worth his snuff would admit he had a crush on an angel if he wasn't very trusting of Eve, and at least somewhat on her side. It was risky for him, and had no benefits except him getting it off his chest. So she agreed with him when he mentioned how odd the forbidden fruit thing was. Why that tree? What was so bad about it? Was that fruit a gift, something God thought she could not handle, or something terrible? She wondered, and the curiosity God gave her in good will slowly led to exactly what God had forbidden. 

Eve knew she had been created for Adam, but she was her own being. She may have been created with him in mind, but she had her own mind, her own interests. She loved Adam- but didn't agree with being subservient to him. She wasn't nearly as against submission as Lilith ( a name no longer spoken, at least not in Adam’s company) but she knew some of her points were valid. She was just as good as Adam. She had just as much worth as him. And so she didn't quite understand why she was treated as less. 

Maybe it was rebellion that led her to do the one thing she was forbidden to do. 

Maybe it was curiosity. 

Maybe it was trust that God wouldn't hurt her for being curious. 

Either way, Crawley was there when she took a bite of that apple. He had urged her to do it- for he was curious, too. 

_What’s the worst thing that could happen?_ She asked herself. 

_The_ worst thing, actually. 

  
  
  


Eve was thankful the Principality had given Adam that sword. She’d never seen anything like it; a thing of steel and harsh light, sharp enough to kill the first lion that challenged them. Adam had used it with an instinct that came out of nowhere. She knew it would probably get that Principality in trouble. She knew that God had likely intended them to die, out in the desert by themselves. By giving Adam that weapon, they had been saved, and blessed with a way to fight back. 

A way of protecting the life that was growing in her stomach. 

Adam and Eve had built a little hut in the shade of a rock that protected them from the harsh sun for most of the day. It was built of desert brush and mud, near an oasis that was a short walking distance away. It wasn't as safe or luxurious as the garden- but Eve was happy. That apple, as forbidden as it was, had given them knowledge. Maybe it was a curse, in some ways, but in others, it was a blessing. It gave them the intuition to trust instincts, to build and survive without God's protection. She thought that if she could go back and be given the choice to eat that apple again…

She would do it. 

Her child would live a hard life. But now she had the intelligence to guide him through it, with the experience of her hardship. 

When Crawley shyly knocked on the wall of her home, an ashamed look in his eye as he saw how they were living now, she embraced him in a hug. 

  
  
  


He had many questions for her. But he led with an apology. 

“Really, I am sorry about that fruit business. I guess I forgot how… _unforgiving_ she can be. It's my bad, really.” 

Eve gave a huff of laughter. 

“I made my choice. You may have tempted me, but I took that bite of my own free will. I wouldn't go back even if I could. Though, I do miss the fruit…” 

Crawley looked relieved, as if his guilt had been lifted. 

“Yeah. Not much around here, but I did hear those cactus things have fruit sometimes, and water on the inside if you manage to cut inside of it past the thorns.” 

“I’ll tell Adam to keep a lookout.” 

Crawley glanced at her stomach. 

“Well, I'm glad you're eating just fine. I thought for sure you'd starve out here, but you look better fed than ever.” 

Eve gaped at him for a moment; and then burst into giggles. 

“Crawley! This isn't food weight! I'm having a baby.” 

He looked confused. 

“Where is it, then?” 

“In my stomach- well, near there, anyways.” 

The demon looked horrified. 

“ _You ate it?!_ ” 

“No! It's growing in there! When it's big enough it'll come out.” 

He looked at her with wide eyes. 

“Satan's sake. That'll be quite an ordeal then, won't it?” 

She nodded. 

“Yes. She says I'll bear my children in misery and pain- but I suppose as long as the child is healthy, I can bear a bit of pain.” 

“Huh. Seems like overkill to me.” 

“Well, I did break the one rule. But the child will come soon- a few months, maybe shorter than that.” She patted his hand. “If you wanted...you could be here, for the birth. Adam is great, but I wouldn’t mind the company of a friend.” 

Crawley looked touched. 

“A friend.” He muttered. “I...yeah. I guess I could show up.” 

She smiled brightly. 

“Good.” She gave him a sly look. “By the way… how did things ever turn out with that Principality?” 

Crawley went red, and absentmindedly fiddled with the hem of his robe. 

“He sheltered me under his wing, during the first rain... I think I might _like_ him.” 

Eve shuffled closer, and listened as Crawley told her the story of their first meeting. 

  
  
  
  


Childbirth was, Crawley quickly decided, the absolute worst thing he had ever seen. Logically, he figured the baby would come out her other end, and come with a bit of pain. But that didn’t quite prepare him for the hours of suffering Eve had to endure. 

He'd held her hand as she pushed, while Adam crouched between her legs, eyes scared but steely with determination. He'd been alarmed by the screams of agony Eve had let out, seemingly beyond her control. She was usually so quiet, so stoic. But tears streamed down her face as if she was being torn in two. 

Amazingly, after Adam had ordered her once more to push, she'd screamed a final time- 

And a tiny voice had cried back in response. 

Adam lifted the child, cutting the cord using the sword and quickly tying it shut. It was so tiny, Crawley thought, barely reminiscent of a fully grown human. Its head was a bit too big, and its eyes were screwed shut in an ugly grimace. 

He wiped it of blood and goop, wrapping it in a plain cloth. As Crawley looked between the baby and Eve, he saw a startling amount of love in her eyes. They'd only just met, but she already seemed to have fallen for the little thing. 

She took the baby in her arms, tears still running from her eyes. 

“Cain.” She croaked. “I'll name you Cain.” 

Crawley silently took his leave, his mind whirling. 

_That was certainly a thing,_ he thought to himself. 

  
  
  
  


Eve was visited again by Crawley a month or so later, and she suspected it was to see how the small baby in her arms was doing. 

“You can hold him, if you like.” She offered. “Just support his head and keep him close to your chest.” Crawley looked faintly terrified as she handed him the baby, but he held him with care. 

It stared back at him with big brown eyes, cooing and chattering. 

“It's… rather small and pathetic, isn't it?” Crawley said. 

“He'll grow. He's already a lot bigger than he was when he was born.” 

“Disgusting. Absolutely pathetic.” The infant tugged at his red locks, never having seen that color of hair before. Crawley sniffed. “Really, just, poor design. How pitiful.” 

“Are you crying?” 

“No,” Crawley sobbed, touching the baby's plump cheeks with a gentle finger. “He's disgusting. Just, toss him out.” The baby smiled at him toothlessly, and Crawley properly burst into tears. 

_What a sap_ , Eve thought fondly. 

  
  
  
  


Crawley took to visiting every handful of months, seeming just as amazed as Eve as the child grew and grew and grew. From small enough to hold in her arms, to so big she could no longer carry him on her hip. As the child learned to speak, it took to calling Crawley kitty- after the furry little beasts that lived in the sands, who shared the same eyes as the demon. 

He had been stunned by this at first. But she saw fondness in his eyes each time he looked at Cain. 

“He likes you, you know.” Eve said one late night, watching as Adam taught Cain how to carefully cut away the needles of the cactus fruit to reach the sweet fruit within. Crawley sat beside her, letting her tie back his hair in a style she had created called a _braid_. “When you're gone, he goes outside and asks the cats, ' _where did kitty go?'_ He thinks you're related to them. "

“What a pest. Just the worst.” Crawley said, feigning disgust. When Cain brought Crawley the fruit he had managed to cut, Eve saw him slip the child a few seeds and murmur in his ear, _“Try planting these. Maybe you’ll get some proper fruit.”_

Eve would dare to say he loved the child. 

  
  
  


Crawley was just as amazed as Eve to see Cain grow as big as Adam. Eve had had another child by this point, a lad she named Abel. He wasn't as close to Crawley as Cain, but Crawley admired his free spirit and kindness. He was different from his brother- carefree where Cain was thoughtful, loud where Cain was silent. Crawley suspected Cain might have some jealousy for his younger brother, who was perhaps Eve’s favorite. Though Crawley didn't see too much harm in that. The first born was still his favorite, though he'd never admit it. 

Cain had taken up something he called “Farming”, inspired by the seeds Crawley had given him and how much fruit they had bore. Crawley thought it was genius, and he tried to bring seeds from far away to add to the orchards. Abel, meanwhile, had taken up “Shepherding”, which meant he tended to the sheep that fed his family. 

And, from what Crawley heard, God must have softened up considerably and forgiven the humans (at least, a little). She had started communicating with them again. 

Cain and Abel had decided to give a sacrifice to Her, of the best harvest and animal meat. A gesture of good will. Crawley didn't see what She would want with human food, but he supposed it was the thought that counted. 

Eve looked so proud of her boys when they made this proposition. 

Crawley wished he had seen it coming. 

  
_But unto Cain and his offering (She) had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell..._

_And it came to pass... that Cain rose up against Abel his brother,_

_and slew him._

_( Genesis 4:5 & 9) _

Crawley came to Eve after a rainstorm. 

The sand was wet with it, and Eve was sitting silently in her home despite the wet floors. 

Crawley saw Adam burying Abel just outside, struggling to dig a hole deep enough. His body had been wrapped in thick cloth, but blood was still seeping through, staining everything red. 

The man met his eyes. He looked miserable, and maybe a bit angry. Crawley briefly wonders if Adam thinks it was his demonic influence that caused his son to become a murderer. 

“I'm sorry.” He murmured to him. The man glared at him for a moment, then softened and shook his head. Crawley thinks that is as much forgiveness as he will get. 

Eve looked up, seeing him in her doorway. He’d never seen her face look so sorrowful. For a moment, he stood in silence, not sure of what to say. Then she spoke; 

“Cain was exiled.” She said softly. “She says he will be a wanderer for the rest of his days, cursed to never till or plant again. To never settle or find a home.” Her face twisted. “I’ve lost both my sons.” She let out a cry of anguish, and Crawley embraced her in the wet sand. 

  
  
  


_Unto the woman (She) said,_

_I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception_

_in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children_

_( Genesis 3:16)_

“You were quite close to Eve, were you not?” Aziraphale asked, deep into his fourth glass of wine. 

Crowley, who was five deep, grunted. A deep memory stirred in the back of his mind. _A child with dark eyes, so smart, so eager to please. I wonder if it was my influence, somehow, that made him kill his own brother._

“Yeah. I hung around them for a while, until she died.” 

The angel looked sympathetic. 

“She was the first human to die of old age. I'm very sorry you had to see it.” 

Crowley shrugged. Another memory. _A woman, lying in a cot of straw, dark skin wrinkled and hair grey. She had stared up at Crowley, a bittersweet smile on her face. “I’ve been the mother of humanity,” she said to him, “It's funny, isn't it? God was a mother to me, and the worst punishment she could think of was to make me a mother too. To make me see my children die, to learn of good and evil by seeing my firstborn kill my second, and to lose him too.”_

_“You were a fine mother.” Crowley said. “She couldn't have asked any more of you.”_

_“And yet, she did.” Her smile was sad._

“Yeah. But I guess I’d rather have been there, than to have learned of it later.”

“Of course.” Aziraphale looked guilty. “Oh, I’m sorry dear, I must have brought up bad memories. I was just curious- you were closer to the first humans than I ever was.” 

Crowley waved off his concern. 

“It's fine, angel. I just haven't thought of her in a while.” He smiled wryly. “She was a hell of a woman. In fact, she was the one who convinced me to talk to you.” 

Aziraphale flushed prettily. 

_The first woman, looking at Crowley with endless patience, and softly suggesting, “Keep yourself close to that Principality. I have a feeling about you two.”_

“She always was rather intuitive.” 

“She was.” 

Aziraphale gave a smile, and refilled his glass and Crowley's. 

“To Eve?” 

Crowley clinked their glasses together. _The first woman, closing her eyes for the final time, husband and family surrounding her, and the demon Crowley. And her last words had been, “Oh, I hope I see my Cain and Abel again soon. I’m ready, Mother.”_

“To Eve.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading- it really does feel weird writing fanfiction about characters I was taught about in sunday school, but sometimes it really do just be like that. Please comment your thoughts about Eve and Crowley being besties lmao


End file.
